Brialee Turner

A note to all of the boys/adults who….

Speak for me.
Tell me what I should feel.
Make comments about my clothes at work, church, school, etc.
Tell me I’ll get in trouble for carrying my pepper spray.
Who yell at me when they’re angry at themselves.
Who say I’m responsible for their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
Who feel I’m responsible for fixing their problems.
Who yell at me from their cars.
Who check me out while their driving, with obvious head turns and glances.
Check out my body, without my permission, regardless of what I’m wearing.
Ecclesiastical leaders who ask me about my sexual feelings, thoughts, and behavior AND who do not tell me why, or teach me healthy sexuality.
Who tell me things I already know in condescending ways,
Who treat me like I’m incompetent,
Who I interrupt me when I’m talking,
Who teach me that being a mother and a wife is my sole calling, but not about being a business woman, friend, leader, and mentor.
Make comments about my weight, food choices, and clothing.
Who act like I am the one who restricts their freedom and who is the one at fault for their comments, when I set boundaries for my health or safety because of their unhealthy behavior.
Who touch my shoulders/waist/arm without permission when they walk by.
Who expect me to be perfect.

And a society and culture who…

Tells me that my body is the most important thing about me,
That I am responsible for the sexual behavior of others.
That my body parts are dirty.
That I am responsible for the emotional well-being of others,
Tells me I needs to look good for my husband when he gets home from work,
That I need to plan my wedding as a 13 year old girl,
That I need to be submissive, always be kind, please men with sexual behaviors and favors.
Teach me to not explore my dreams and to stay “safe”.
Who tell me to never break rules or societal norms because of the shame and “what would other people think!!?”
Who fuel the abusive and evil misuse of sexual behavior.
Who teach me that I am supposed to be–who they want me to be, and not who I want to become.

It sucks to be a woman when this is the society you are born into.

And countless others face more than this because of unhealthy societal views about weight, race, skin color, and economic status.

This is not okay.

People do know better.

Your gender or culture or status is not an excuse.

So stop defending your sexism.

And start educating yourselves on equality, empathy, and basic respect for human beings.

Women are more than bodies, sexual objects, and toys.

We are human beings with thoughts, feelings, behaviors, ideas, and influence.

That is all.