MISSING

Is something really gone if it is no longer earthside?
Does God segregate heaven?
I wish that I had called her more.
I didn’t know her favorite color.
Was she in pain?
Did she know that she was dying?
How did she feel when she found out that I was going to be earthside?
Does she miss her body?
I have so many questions, and I’m crying in a corner, sitting in a ratty orange chair.
We’re her nails still painted red?
Did she see her lover when her lungs and heart stopped?
I wonder if it’s okay for me to cry because I didn’t know her well.
Can I grieve someone that I barely knew?
I don’t have time for this right now.
I want to feel and I don’t want to feel.
My heart is tender and my mind is bruised.
Grief is love looking for a place to settle.
Can she see us now?

Brialee Turner